Claire's Birthday

Claire, a wonderful friend of mine here in Rwanda. She had never celebrated her birthday before this year and I had the opportunity to take her out to a nice Indian restaurant in town. She was blown away and I was able to surprise her b/c the staff at this restaurant turns down all the lights and sings and dances happy birthday to the birthday people! She was in tears she was so happy, it was her first birthday celebration and she had never been to a nice restaurant. At dinner, she told me about some things about her life. Since her father is Hutu and her mother (killed because she was a witness in the Gacaca courts) was Tutsi, Claire has found that she has never fit in anywhere. Men refuse to become romantically involved of either tribe because she is not "pure" blood of either one. She told me stories of old boyfriends who found out her mother was a Tutsi and refused to see her, and similarly was dating a Tutsi who loved her but couldn't continue dating her after some time because she had Hutu family. Previous to learning this information, I would always ask her about her boyfriend who is from Kenya who she loves dearly and is willing to leave her family to go live in Kenya with him. I was challenging her by asking her some questions about him and she finally told me "look, for once in my life, I found someone who will give me love and affection, he is responsible, and most importantly, he loves me for who I am, not what tribe I belong to." I was seriously humbled at that moment and she began to tell me about all the different stories that made me see that 15 years post genocide things are not reconciled here. There is still resentment between groups and in rural areas Hutus and Tutsis don't speak to each other. I never knew the full extent since Rwandans are extremely private and closed people (very different to my Kenyan peeps!) so it's difficult to find the truth about the reconciliation process -- it takes lots and lots of trust to figure out what is really going on under the surface.

I can't believe how far Claire has come. Like I said, Hutu father and Tutsi mom. Claire's father was safe throughout the genocide, but for weeks and weeks Claire and her mother were forced to hide out in the forest, barely surviving. Since Rwanda is such a small country they would often hear the genocidaires nearby and have to run for their lives throughout the forest. After the genocide, Claire's parents got divorced -- very rare and for serious reasons -- and months after the divorce Claire's mother was preparing to testify against genocidaires in Gacaca and was murdered by those who did not want her to testify. I asked Claire how she survived this pain and her answer was simple. She told me that her family was broken and fell apart from the genocide, but she realized God is her Father and that because of his love, she can breathe again, she can live again. He gives her purpose and the ability to move on.

It's amazing -- Pastor Deo (PFR executive director) has brought so many wounded and rejected people together to create the PFR staff -- a beautiful mixture of tribes and background stories, and Pastor Deo just opens up his life for these people, and welcomed them in. Our office has Claire, whose story you now know, Guma, a refugee in Uganda, Three Hutus were were imprisoned each for 9 and/or 7 years, two falsely accused and one an actual killer, two refugees from Congo and one of them was thrown in prison for being a Tutsi, and Pastor Deo who had a complete life turnaround and conversion, and his wife, who used to be Muslim but converted to Christianity. Talk about a melting pot office! Just an example of the unity that actually CAN occur if forgiveness is called upon, if repentance is real, and if everyone is willing to love unconditionally. This group of people in my office are true heroes to me, examples of those who have been through some of life's worst hardships and all found their hope in God. I'm learning a lot.