Just Hello

Hello,

It's been a while since I last posted. Nothing to profound to say here. Things are moving quite rapidly and I cannot believe that in four months time I'll be a married woman! Some highlight in regards to my personal life:

- Found an older woman who is in my church home group to mentor me, very excited! I love how she lives her life - she's pretty intense, but she lives out her faith radically, which I'm excited to learn about... She's not into being a Christian but having every whim of her comforts met.

- Had a difficult week with a potential funder for one of the orgs I work for. Lesson learned: do not DO things for the Rwandans you're working for... Work ALONG SIDE THEM. If they ask you to write an article, try to have someone sit down with you while you do it. If you write a proposal, make sure the employees have that thing memorized. It's easy to do thing for people here and mislabel it as "serving."It's about the teaching process.

- LOVING my housemates. Have not been exposed to a community like this in a really long time. The girls I'm surrounded by are extremely intentional with diving into each others hearts and spiritual lives. We walk by each other faithfully through everyone's struggles, and are committed to group prayer. We're all super different are aren't attached to the hip, our purpose with each other is merely to support and encourage each other... well we also have a lot of fun together as well! We are starting the Alpha Course tonight in our house, so I'm excited! It's a course that teaches the basic facts about Christianity. No muss, no fuss.

- Excited that my MOM will be in Rwanda in a few weeks! Going to be a pure blast, so fun to explore with her, will be sure to be a hilarious time.

- It's fun to hear about John's first few days in Australia. Haven't had a chance to speak with him too in depth since he is in the thick of trying to find housing and getting settled, but it's still great to know he's having this experience!

- Will be moving to Australia shortly. Any job recommendations? So far I have: Waitress, and a caretaker in an Assisted Living home (work in a home of an old person)...., and of course, I will volunteer for Prison Fellowship Australia.

- My Kinyarwanda is getting pretty darn good if I say so myself. But don't ask me to speak it when I'm in the States, it will be promptly out of my head.

- Leading the strategic planning train at PFR. Yikes! Not much experience in this area, and I'm sure to be learning a lot! Prayers requested for this venture.

Much love,

Rachel

Thank you HOD

My Vandy major is finally paying off. Something I am realizing about myself is that I'm task oriented. The past few days were a bit frustrating because I didn't have any tasks and I was unproductive... However, today I was given the task of helping our program manager at PFR create a strategic plan! Hooray! I actually like these kind of projects - and I get to do a much needed in-depth SWOT analysis and Business Plan (and budget, although I am not as keen to work on budgets) now.

So, HOD (Human and Organizational Development), I am thanking you right now! Four years at Vandy studying organizational theory with an international lense is already paying off.

Courage to Serve

Why does it take courage to serve? Ever since I have returned to Rwanda from the States, my mind has been crowded with too many thoughts on poverty, despair, excessive wealth, enjoying life, and generosity. I am having trouble wrapping my mind around what our world is facing and how us global citizens are called to respond. But I don’t have the courage to do what needs to be done. Perhaps I’ll take a few steps backwards to get to what must be done.

I am in Rwanda, “doing good works.” I come to the Prison Fellowship office every day and help PFR strategize to increase and improve their programming and their organizational capacity to serve more people. Yet when the women with HIV/AIDS come to our office to make crafts, I shy away from relationships with them. Not knowing Kinyarwanda, I can’t make it past greetings and general conversations about how everyone’s families are doing. When the Street Kids come, I play with the young ones, but back away from the older kids – the ones who struggle with drugs, sex abuse, and ones forced to step in as a mother at a young age due to ineffective parents to the young ones. Why do I back away and maintain my excuse that I am still serving sitting behind this desk writing proposals? Part of it is the ever-obvious awkward language barrier. But that can be overcome.

I think what I am coming to realize is that if I get really close to these folks, I will start to feel very, very uncomfortable. The more I become friends with the street kids, the more they notice things. Like my snazzy Klean Kanteen water bottle, or my fancy digital camera, my sunglasses, my in tact shoes…. Items that are just a natural part of me – these are items I take everywhere with me. But the kids can’t stop touching them and asking questions like how much it costs… And why does that question make me feel so uncomfortable? It is because when I tell them my water bottle costs $20 USD (10,000 rwandan francs) , I can see the math wheels in their head turning, as they realize that $20 USD could feed their families remarkably well for over a week, and even their neighbors, when they are forced to come to PFR to get their only full hot meal in a week.

Here is when I get loving and well-intentioned advice from my friends (and it is the same advice I give my friends too when they start to think like this): That it’s not good to think like that, because it will just drive me crazy and I simply can’t be walking around feeling guilty every time I see a poor person…. There are just too many of them…

But can’t I?

In the Bible, Jesus’ greatest commandment to us was this, “Love the Lord your God will all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31

It’s funny how we can compartmentalize these commandments. I have found myself trying to heed this commandment as I walk down the street, having an internal struggle over why I haven’t been loving my parents properly, or how I ought to be treating my friends… all the while ignoring the person in the shivering cold outside of the subway station as I’m heading to a feast at an unbelievable restaurant with my friends.

“ I just have to simply love those around me!” I tell myself breathing a sigh of relief, trying to sort out my relationships – I’ve just gotta be nice to my friends and family and everything will fall into place. But I have created a force field around me… And those “Around me” become my friends and family and the population that I choose to serve.

Who is our neighbor?

Simply put … it’s everyone. And if we are supposed to love our neighbor as ourselves… Then let us consider the simple reversal image. Imagine you were in a position where everyone you loved abandoned you. You lost your job. No one wants to take you in. You’re hungry, cold, and in constant danger because you have to sleep on the street. You simply crave some love: Someone to take you in, give you a hot shower and a good meal, and help you get back on your feet. But everyone ignores you. You just want to be treated with some dignity by those who are able.

It is always astonishing to me the amount of people working for non-profit organizations in Rwanda and also in the States. We work tirelessly from 9 – 5 working against the plight of poverty. And then we go back to our houses with extra guest rooms and kick back and relax in front of the t.v.

What if every single person (this number is in the millions) working for a non-profit organization fighting poverty in some way or the other decided to fill their guest rooms with a person without a house? Just one extra person in every house? I think this would make a greater impact to eradicate poverty than all the millions of different non-profit organizations out there.

But of course. This takes a lot of courage. A lot of courage to sacrifice some comfort of coming home, turning on the t.v. and getting in our pajamas, to inviting a desperate stranger to come and be part of this family. And actually diving into the messy lives of these people.

For me, I am finally at a place where I actually want to share a lot of my things with those around me. But I’m afraid. I’m walking by tons of street kids at the grocery store near my house and I don’t give them food because I’m afraid I’ll be constantly swarmed every day by countless people, asking for things that I can’t give them. I’m actually afraid I’ll be judged by the Rwandans who just look at me as “that rich American…”

But guess what? I AM that rich American. And I can’t hold on to my wealth anymore. And who cares if I get swarmed every day? Do I actually think Jesus doesn’t care if I decide not to feed the hungry with my extra cash that I have?

But the thing is this. If we love God with all our heart and all our soul and with all our mind and strength… then we will understand His unfailing love for us. THEN we will start to stop putting up barriers between us and the poor and THEN we will actually love every poor person we see (and every rich person who needs it too) and our hearts will break for their desperation and we will have no other choice but to give them what we have.

But it takes courage. And I don’t have that yet!!! But I think it will get there soon enough.

“The bread which you do not use is the bread of the hungry;
the garment hanging in your wardrobe is the garment of him who is naked;
the shoes that you do not wear are the shoes of the one who is barefoot;
the money that you keep locked away is the money of the poor;
the acts of charity that you do not perform are so many injustices that you commit.”

St. Basil the Great

I think I am going to use this blog to hash out my completely confused thoughts on this matter… Bear with me!

P.S. Also encouraged that in July I will be marrying a man who has always encouraged me to think about what we need as opposed to what we want. I'm so blessed!

PFI's President Ron Nikkel

I love working for this organization! Read this article.

http://www.thestar.com/news/insight/article/748670--ron-nikkel-a-gentle-advocate-for-the-damned


By the way, back in Rwanda, and I'm exhilarated to be back. I'm excited to start working -- to focus my niche more in all my three different roles, and to use this time in this wonderful country to focus my prayer life and prepare myself for marriage!

Will be in touch.

Love
Rachel

Thoughts after 3 months

Hello family and friends,

I can hardly believe that I will be returning home for Christmas break in just four days. Has it been three months already? Even more difficult to believe is that I still have six months ahead of me. I've been diving into my work here and learning a lot about my personal skills and passions and on the other side, learning about what does not drive me. For example, I am learning that I do NOT like to be in the spotlight and to be a group mobilizer. For the screening of the film As We Forgive, I've been tossing around the idea (with co-workers) of hosting a screening of the film for the large ex-pat community here. Since it's a non-Rwandan crowd I would be in charge of the publicity, leading the group discussion post screening, and hosting the entire event basically. I get sick to my stomach at the thought of doing this! Rather, I love working behind the scenes. I like to sit down with my co-workers at PFR and brainstorm to create ideas for ways to improve the Communications department, our programs and partners, and I even learned that I like writing.. Or maybe I'm just improving my writing skills and I'm happy with that...

But I think most of all what I like to do is work with small groups of teenage girls (getting way more specific now!!!). Thinking back to my time in Kenya, I was the happiest when I was at a tea shop with a group of eight girls, talking with them and trying to influence and empower them to be confident in themselves and their skills. Come January, I am going to try to make time to create a small lesson plan to teach our Street Kids small bits of English once a week for abour 45 minutes every day. Hopefully when we get the funding one day to send them to school this will help them catch up on their studies.

I have been thinking a lot about the "place" for ex-pats in development, and specifically in Africa. Education constantly comes to my mind as a place where we (Westerners) can help the Rwandans (using my experience example) to become the ones to change their country, NOT the ex-pats that come in with good intentioned wills. If we can first of all help the Rwandans learn good English skills, and teach them beyond basic education but into character development and leadership development, than this empowerment can change the country much better than Westerners coming in and doing the work for the Rwandans. Here in Rwanda there are hundreds of NGOs run by Westerners as the Executive Director or President with lots of Rwandans under them but it's unbelievably rare to find an NGO that with a Rwandan as an Executive Director (Well, except for Prison Fellowship Rwanda :) sorry personal plug!).

Local ownership of development efforts are huge, but I believe that many Westerners make the mistake by thinking that "as long as we hire Africans to do the on-the-ground work and we still run it (Western Boards, Executive Directors, Presidents) and make the major decisions, then are accomplishing local ownership." WRONG (well, my opinion..). If a project is being steered by Westerners it misses SO much, even if the Westerners are getting "advice" from Africans, I don't think it's enough.

This is why I appreciate my role at Prison Fellowship Rwanda especially. It is an autonomous organization that receives skills and leadership training from PFI the Secretariat . But PFR's executive Director is a Rwandan and I'm serving the organization based on my skillset helping them establishing a firm communications platform , grantwriting, etc (not entirely sustainable, but hoping that PFR will eventually hire someone with excellent English skills as a Comm. Director as we currently do not have this). I'm not making any big decisions in the organization, but following the lead of the Rwandans and trying my best to help strengthen programming based on my educational background.

But in the long run when I consider how I can contribute to development, I keep coming back to education. Forming capable leaders is huge for the future of development. That's why Rwanda is "on track" (in some ways). Personally, this may be something that I would like to follow one day... I love having relationships with teenage girls and being able to have intimate and influential relationships with them. But I need to let my thoughts marinate first.

I hope you followed my stream of consciousness writing...

I'll be home SO SOON!

These pictures are from when we went land hunting for a home for street kids. This cow loved this man (I forget his name but was helping us look for land) but when I tried to pet the cow it ran away from me! Why do I scare cows?

The "Cow Whisperer"

Just Rachel, wishing the cow liked her

Love,

Rach

Check it

PFI's President Ron Nikkel has some good thoughts to share:

http://us1.campaign-archive.com/?u=6f75dc2caf82d8a3408fd72b6&id=aa9a346364&e=cb7c7f7ee4

Thanksgiving in Rwanda!

A surprisingly great Thanksgiving.

My housemate Samantha and I decided to take off work to cook all day! Samantha started work on the Pumpkin pie from scratch a few days before and it was turning out lovely. We decided to do a goat roast as opposed to killing a live turkey (sorry Jacki we just didn't have time to do it! But don't worry meat and animal killing is handled in a very organic and natural way than it is in America, trust me!). We thought we would get 4 kgs since we had a 1/2 kg in our fridge and it seemed pretty small. When our cook came back with the 4 kgs we started dying laughing it was bigger than both of my thighs put together, for serious. Here is me with the goat (note: this is HALF of what we got we had to chop it in half I couldn't lift the other half).


So Samantha and I spent all day cooking with Christmas music blasting it was so much fun getting into an "American festive mood," it was even pretty chilly that day which we were thankful for to remind us of home :) I made the stuffing from scratch and it was actually pretty good! I also made mashed potatoes, green beans, and Sam and I both made the goat roast which was actually pretty tasty! We basted it with chicken broth, carrots, potatoes, ginger and a ton of spices and oil and let it soak all day and then the meat was pretty good besides the fact that goat in general is a pretty tough peice of meat. HERE'S THE BEST PART DESSERT: Samantha made pumpkin pie which was amazing and we made whipped cream, our guests brought pumpkin bread, apple crisp and ICE CREAM (VERY rare in Rwanda and very expensive!!). It was the most delicious meal I've had in Rwanda. Our thanksgiving meal with complete with 6 Americans, 1 Brit, 1 Australian, 1 Canadian, and 1 Rwandan (we had to seriously limit our Rwandan friends otherwise it would be a party of 45 people, no joke).

Also, the most Rwandan part of the evening is that we were without electricity cooking all day long (we have gas stove thank goodness). This means we had to cook with headlamps to see the progress of our food in the oven with no thermometer which was hilarious. The lights came back on from 5-6 p.m. and then at 6:15 JUST as we were setting our food on the table to eat our meal the electricity went out again and we all burst out laughing - typical Rwanda. But we lit tons of candles and actually had a very magical feast all night , the ambiance without the lights made for an intimate dinner and we could actaully see the stars through our doors and windows along with the lit hills of the city (the hills that had electricity). ( also due to equator Rwanda is pitch dark at 6)


We got to go around the table and say what we were thankful for which is always my favorite part of Thanksgiving. All the non-Americans got really into it too and it was surprisngly a really emotional and vulnerable time, something that is rare for all of our housemates to share with each other! Then I convinced everyone at the table to sing "Great is Thy Faithfulness" a Weber family Thanksgiving tradition which was really great. Then one of our housemates who is a musician came out with her guitar and played her songs for us. You guys -- this girl is AMAZING we were all blown away by her talent and actually most of us were in tears from her songs. Her name is ASHLEY JONES look her up on iTunes -- her songs I like is "New York is like a boyfriend" "Daughter of" and "Selling out" and "Those Hills" (about Rwanda). She sang us some AMAZING songs about Rwanda since she's been here for 4 months songwriting that are not out on her EP yet. It was amazing b/c all of us are so connected to Rwanda in such a similar but unique different way so we all had this deep understanding of her Rwandan songs that she may not get from her audiences in the future. A really special time.

Anyway keep an eye out for Ashley Jones. She's a great musician. http://www.ashleyjonesmusic.com
This photo is Ashley playing songs for us once the feast was ended and we were in food coma.

A wonderful night of Thanksgiving in Rwanda! Very different and I definitely missed my family big time but I'm learning that the non-American thanksgivings are always the most memorable. I have no idea where I'll be next year for Thanksgiving but I hope it's with my family.

lots of love from Rwanda!! I'm SO thankful for all your support and love and prayers. You are all wonderful friends and family I couldn't ask for more in my relationships.

Rachel